Is it because he doesn't have a uterus?

I have now been back at work for 2 months - my loving husband is the stay at home parent and is doing a good job taking care of the children.

I am frustrated however because when I was pregnant with Adrianna and we discussed this arrangement he said that I would be surprised with his domestic duties. This is the same man I have been married to for 8 years now and I don't think he possesses a domestic bone in his body. At any rate I was on maternity leave for 4 months and pretty much took care of the house as I had been doing with working and having 1 child, I didn't say anything becasue I was on leave and not working and it just seemed natural. During my time off I would tell Joe that this was his opportunity for OJT (on the job training) and the perfect time to get himself into a routine since I was home to help. He did not take advantage of this time so a month before I was to return to work I started saying that I would be happy to make a chore chart so that we could each have our specific duties and a day when they needed to be completed by, I thought it would also help to keep from one person getting frustrated with the other as long as our duties were being done,
he agreed to the chore chart -

We made the chore chart here is the run down:

HOPE'S WEEKLY CHORES:

• Laundry (1 or 2 loads each weekday night, including folding and put away)
• Change bedding on all beds - (every other weekend)
• Vaccuum and dust our bedroom -(Monday night)
• Swiffer and dust Quentin's bedroom -(Monday night)
• Vaccuum upstairs hallway -(Monday night)
• Vaccuum and dust downstairs -(Tuesday night)

This list does not include bathing the children each night and putting them to bed along with making dinner, cleaning the kitchen and packing lunches for the next day or grocery shopping and menu planning .

JOE'S WEEKLY CHORES:

• Clean Upstairs Bathroom - Full bathroom to be completed by Thursday
• Clean downstairs bathroom - 1/2 barh to be completed by Thursday
• Mop the kitchen floor -(Wednesday)
• Mop entryway floor - (Wednesday)
• Pick up Quentin from School - Tuesday - Thursday
• Take Quentin to speech - Monday and Wednesday

The only other thing that I have asked him to take care of is to pick up after himself (not an unreasonable request) during the day - ok more specifically put your breakfast/lunch dishes in the dishwasher, put the bottles that you have fed Adrianna with on the sink (so I can wash them at night).

I was a stay at home parent when Quentin was a baby until he was 19 months old. I was able to do everything - the only thing I asked him to do was an occasional Costco run because I hate Costco.

When I get home on any given day - I can tell exactly where in the house that Joe and Adrianna have been - as there is a bottle or blanket or jammies or some kind of evidence left in the area. The kitchen is a nightmare the counters have food or crumbs on them from where he did not wipe it down after he ate breakfast or lunch or snack - his dishes are in the sink not in the dishwasher the list goes on. I get dinner started and then my load of laundry and then go through and pick up after him from the day - the picking up takes all of about 10 minutes so I don't understand why it isn't done before I get home.

It is so frustrating because I am feeling that it is not fair for me to be at work all day long and then to come home to a mess that I have to pick up along with making time for my children who I have been away from all day and God forbid sit down and have a moment to myself for half a second before it is time to go to bed or move onto the next chore. I have also taken on the responsiblity of cleaning the bathrooms because they have yet to be done by Joe since I have been back at work.

I guess it is one of those things that I am choosing not to address and will just complain to myself (or my blog) about. I think that once we get a couple credit cards paid off I am going to arrange for a house keeper - we had one before Quentin was born and I LOVED IT!!!! The only thing that they don't do is the laundry which I am totally fine with that.

Until I get my housekeeper back the only sensible reason I can think of that he is unable to do chores and take care of the children at the same time is because he does not have a uterus.

Thank you for letting me vent!